It used to be that the only parental dilemma surrounding the character of Santa Claus in the lives of their children centered on what to tell the kids about him. But with “Santa” hitting the news in so many diverse ways – through live events, movies, commercials, television shows, etc – parents have a lot more to be concerned about when it comes to explaining The Big Guy to their kids.
Take, for example, the story of Janet Gladden’s visit to Santa at a mall in Southern California last year. “Our six year old finally consented to visit Santa, after having backed out nearly every year since she was three out of fear of Santa Claus,” Janet said. “So when the moment of truth came, she took a deep breath and walked bravely up to the smiling Santa who welcomed her in a very friendly way. At first, I thought he was wonderful the way he engaged her and got her talking. But when he told her that her Mommy was “hot” she got very scared and I was deeply embarrassed.”
The behavior of those portraying Santa Claus is a sticky challenge. Santa is, after all, considered both a sacred and secular figure. Parental angst is most often reserved for cultural representation of Santa Claus, mostly through movies and television shows.
“A Christmas Story is a classic for many people,” explains Paulette Franks of Grand Forks, North Dakota, a mother of five children under the age of 9 and a former schoolteacher. “But my kids will never see it as children. The Santa portrayed in that movie is just awful, frightful – very un-Santa like. Some people find that funny. In my house, Santa is kind, gentle, respectful and well behaved. I have to filter the Santa my kids see everywhere.”
Real life stories of Santa in the news concern parents, too. High profile cases of child molestations and even murder give parents pause with Claus.
“When that guy dressed up as Santa shot up his family last Christmas I had to explain to my seven year old that really wasn’t Santa,” says Walt Holmes, a parent of two in Chino Hills, California. “It was all over the news here and our kids couldn’t escape it. It was a sad thing to try to explain.”
Recent postings made here on DefendingSanta.com caused a torrent of parental response when a group of professional Santas toured a brothel museum. “I don’t get why these guys would appear as Santa Claus in such a place,” wrote parent Misty Jensen of Salt Lake City, Utah. “If they want to be tourists, fine. But why go there as Santa?”
Some in the professional Santa community take exception of such situations. A big man with a fluffy white beard might not be dressed completely as Santa to be recognized as Santa. In many cases, even a fully dressed Santa will be in public when approached by scantily clad women who will want a picture or a moment on Santa’s lap. These situations put a professional Santa in a tough situation.
“I get that,” Rhonda Wilson of Flagstaff, Arizona tells says. “Santa can’t always control who and how people will react. But that’s the test – children are always watching. I’m always watching. I love Santa and always have. But if Santa gets out of line, he is going to get a piece of my mind. It isn’t how he acts it is how he reacts that concerns me.”
Santas everywhere have a fine line to walk.
In a mall in Orem, Utah last year a beloved Santa was fired at the height of the season after a customer complained of inappropriate touching. Even though dozens of witnesses stepped forward and a coalition of parents combined to defend the accused the Santa still lost his position, one he had held for many years. “The point wasn’t that he was falsely accused,” mall management explained in the media. “It was that the perception of him personally was tainted and Santa Claus has to be completely beyond reproach. We are a community filled with families with young children. If our Santa is viewed with the least degree of trustworthiness we have to make a change.”
These and other elements would seem to combine in making the portrayal of Santa Claus an impossible job.
“If you go back a hundred years Santa Claus led a charmed life in public,” says Jeff Westover, CEO of MerryNetwork.com, a publisher of a network of Christmas websites (including this site). “Public perception was shaped by Clement Clark Moore’s poem and Thomas Nast’s drawings of Santa Claus. These days we have so many conflicting images of Santa that parents feel compelled to try to control it. The real St. Nick is so far removed from Billy Bob Thornton’s Bad Santa or even Ed Asner’s sad Santa in Elf that parents are put in the position to constantly clarify, justify or explain.”
So how does a parent gain confidence in someone portraying Santa to their kids?
“I follow the money,” says Todd Green, a parent of four from Malad, Idaho. “If a Santa is there to sell pictures or to get money for reindeer food I won’t go near him with my kids. But if a Santa is there to just make kids happy or to support a local charity or church function, I’m there. Those guys who do it for the love of it tend to promote what I believe Santa is all about. Those who do it for money could be motivated by other things. I don’t blame a man who makes a living portraying Santa Claus. But as a parent those guys just aren’t for me.”
Janet Gladden put it this way: “Santa Claus does not belong to those who portray him. He belongs to the children whose wonder and excitement for the season is what makes Christmas special to me as a parent. It is about giving. When they start to “take” for whatever reason – it can ruin what Christmas is for me and my child.”
Christmasstar
Unfortunately in this age with instant news available everywhere, it is very hard to keep negative news away from the kids.
The best way to deal with it is to just let them know that these are people who put on a suit and pretend to be Santa. Tell that Santa will always be a great person who is kind and giving and would never be mean or nasty to anyone.